im a big girl

First Topic:
LAUNDRY

i've made a mid-year "new years resolution".

i'm making sure that when i take clothes off, i keep them right-side out.

Now, to the normal person that might not seem like that big of a deal, but to me it is the worst. whenever laundry day comes i spend an extra 5 minutes or more turning things right-side out so that drying isnt a whole production in itself. because by the time that annoying as hell buzzer goes off, i want nothing more than to shove the clothes in the drawers and go on with my day.

Socks - always inside out. Shirts, i rip it off like a 5 year old ready to run to the next toy without thinking. pants tend to be the ONLY thing that is not inside out. my sports bras are the only things exempt from this rule, b/c most times they are drenched in sweat and nauseating to spend too much time turning right-side out, etc.

So i am making a real effort these days. a small step in the grand scheme of things, but large when it comes to efficient laundry doing.


Next topic:
DEBT.

I am in debt.
i dont like to say it. i dont even like to think how i've gotten here [think: moving out, not budgeting well enough, and when it comes to things i "need", but dont have the cash for asap - i charge it. awesome moves]. which really just ends up getting worse each month - b/c as the bill gets higher (i consolidated my 2 big cards into one), i want to pay more to make it go away... thus making the cycle worse. more money going to the card means more money out of my bank account, etc etc etc.
BUT i have finally accepted my fate. I am discontinuing use on my big card, and vowing to make a plan to pay it off in a matter of months. I MUST DO THIS. D made it clear that when "our accounts merge" (isnt he romantic), he doesnt want to take on loads of my debt. which is completely true - and not fair to him. i wouldnt want HIS debt, that's for sure.... so i have to make every effort i can to eliminate the problem. Thankfully my 2 BIG wedding commitments are DONE GONE FINISHED and now i have to pay-off my parents also. CRAP, forgot about that. im sure they will bring down my total cost, b/c they know how broke i am and they dont really need the money - but i told them i didnt just WANT the money, i wanted to pay back. so hopefully they will cut me a break, and i will slowly pay that off too.
I also bought a Suze Orman book "Women and Money". I plan to start reading it tonight, and really get into it. She has some sort of 5 month plan - which would take me to October, and that would be awesome to be at a much more debt-free zone in October. I wonder if i'll get engaged in that time period. wow it seems so far but not really that far at all...... ahhhhhhhhh im getting freaked out again but freaked out in the good excited way.

so thats my plan... my big girl plan. take control of my laundry and my debt. one step at a time.


So to come full circle.... i really want to go on a shopping spree.
i want like 10 pairs of shoes, 2 bathing suits, and a ton of new summer clothes. but that DOES NOT fit into the new & improved me. shoot.


also - D is getting a raise at work again :)
i am so proud of him. sometimes i think that he is a little forward/too aggressive and obvious when it comes to trying to get what he thinks he deserves, but in this role it has done him nothing but good. the people at work seem to really like him - he gets lots of praise and i think this will be his 3rd raise in 18months. which is awesome. he's also started his own business with a friend - and while it is still in its newborn phase, it shows a lot of potential - and they really could do well for themselves if they play their cards right, invest a little money and get the name out there. maybe then i can manage that business for him and quit any other job and be a part time lady of leisure. damn that would be awesome. great, now im day-dreaming at work.

Had a dream i was fired from work last night - and it was a BIG scene. i think i was feeling guilty about the "access denied" things i was getting from looking at blogs yesterday and seeing that they are "monitoring me". i dont like the sounds of that. i am a good worker, but i need to scatter my tasks throughout the day or else i will be done in like 1 hour..... and then it will be really BAD. i really wish i knew what direction i should be going in life. not that i am unhappy here - AT ALL - i really am, and i am not even thinking about another path right now [which is a good feeling] but it still doesnt feel like ME, like where i am supposed to be. its a nice place, a nice office and the people are nice enough - but i dont know. sometimes i just feel like i am all on my own here and i can go for hours and hours and hours w/o even TALKING to anyone...........

oh well.

gotta get back to 'being busy'
[or looking it]

more to come as my debt hopefully lowers itself.