going batty

so i head into day 3 of crazy, ridiculous no-holds-barred dieting.... and im feeling pretty good. pretty confident, and no major slip-ups, save that piece of chocolate i had after dinner last night.... but COME ON.. im PMS'ing and NEED THAT CHOCOLATE. i think ive been doing pretty well considering what time of month it is, and what kind of eater i normally am. but i have the ultimate motivator, the DRESS. it was tight. and not even tight around my gut, tight around my BOOBS. seriously. who would have ever thought that my boobs would make something not fit right?? certainly not me, thats for sure. so i am out today to go buy some midol or pamprin. i want something to reduce the bloating, if that is even at all possible. im running out of options here people, the wedding is SATURDAY! and its WEDNESDAY!! ahhhhh. whatever it is very very very past the point of "looking good" - it is all about comfort at this point. serious, total and complete comfort. i do not want to spend 12 hours wearing an ugly dress that hurts, makes me miss out on all the delicious food-stuffs goin around and most importantly, DRINKING. the last wedding was a disaster in this respect - as i barely had any of the bacon wrapped shrimp, or cheese plate or meatballs or ANY OF IT..... no dinner, no dessert. i was smart, saved it all for vodka & tonic :)

so its another gorgeous day here in the fabulous state of NJ, and it makes me happy ! ill go out at lunch for errands and basically just to have time away from my desk - which i thank god for every damn day. things are slow right now, which makes time DRAG - especially when all i want to do is eat, and boredom = hunger. but really, im impressed with myself and with the right attitude i can make it happen. i sometimes wish i always had to fit into some stupid dress.

speaking of dresses, i will NOT do this to myself as the bride in my own wedding. i want a flowy sun-dress type deal, none of this skin tight satin with 1 billion buttons up the back.... HELL NO. i want to be comfortable... MY way.

thank god for all these people having weddings before me, so that i can determine what sucks & what is cool.

here are some things that arent cool:

- people who can't smile in pictures b/c they think they look 'sexy' otherwise
- waking up too early int he morning & not being able to fall back asleep
- diets
- mean attitudes
- uncomfortable shoes
- ugly dresses
- pickles
- working during the summer
- not having enough money to travel when/where i want to
- DEBT
- traffic, accidents, bad drivers
- monday mornings at 8am
- not being able to wear cute clothes b/c im very critical
- hell, not being able to BUY cute clothes
- people who talk too much about themselves but never ask how you are
- when you compliment others but never receive compliments in return
- not having the ability to concentrate
- thinking that stretch pants looks cute on everyone, knowing i would never do that
- this list.