spring has sprung.

spring is almost here. or i guess it technically is here but whatever we still got snow, ice, crap like a week ago. i love walking out of work at 5:30 and it still being light... and warm, and it smells good. you know, that fun smell of spring - that smells like being outside, partying, laughing, drinking, having fun, getting tan, being with your friends, feeling happy. its sand in the toes, in your clothes, in all your bags, smelling like sun tan lotion, and having fried hair from swimming too much. its freckles and ice cream and frozen margaritas. its beach houses and BBQ's and fourth of july. its my birthday. concerts. beer in solo cups. hot dogs [the ONLY appropriate time to eat them. well besides baseball games.]

i guess it just means that i hate winter and everything it stands for.
not that i know too many people who like it. and the ones that do are a little... off.

so i have my next wedding coming up in may... not really all that prepared for it. have the dress. sort of have the shoes. dont really want to participate but i have to. "family obligations" or some shit. so i have to put on my happy face and put up with the crazy families involved [mine included] and try to be helpful without losing my temper like i did at the bridal shower. disaster. i felt like a 5 yr old that whole day - getting yelled at for everything from table cloths to pens to centerpieces. god help me. again, reason # 4328472356 why i want to 'run away' and get married somewhere tropical. take the majority of the worry right outta there. well besides that whole "im getting married in another country & can't see whats going on" factor.

again - I THINK I AM OBSESSED WITH GETTING MARRIED. seriously though. i have a sickness. as per usual. this time i know it. i look for rings like 24-7. look for wedding locations and wedding songs and EVERYTHING. jesus. im not even at that stage yet. lord help me. really.

although D did just sell his car and is pocketing $3000 for it. which is really awesome, fantastic, etc. but still doesnt get me really any closer to having that gorgeous piece of BLING on my finger. but then again really having that is scary enough. i just like the thought of it. wont happen till probably the end of the year or the beginnning of next. one of his close friends just got engaged too - it feels like an epidemic now. lots of people are 'taking the plunge' - most of the couples we know are, or are on their way. its so weird that this is a real thing now. we are at the age where people are getting married. STRANGE> i didnt see this coming but i guess thats the way it is. i just wish i wasnt so obsessed with the whole idea of it. i just cant stopppppppppppppppppppppp


i just love american idol. i love watching. i want to marry blake lewis. there i go again DAMMIT! whatever. i had a dream i wanted to have sex with him last night. dont worry, D knows about my love for him & his little beak. i really really really want haley to go home. and dont even get me started on mr. gay teenage weirdo. i cant even go there. with his sideswept bangs and scary weird smile and awkward awkward mannerisms i just want to shoot myself. all i can say is THANK GOD FOR DVR. seriously. and at first, as much as i really hated melinda... she has really really grown on me, and that in and of itself is enough reason for me to say i really hope she wins, and i think she has an excellent chance. cute, good singer, likeable. she's got it all. except a neck. dont know where that is.
heres's my breakdown of thoughts on the remaining contestants
phil = scariest mo fo around. those weird eye brows. does he pencil them in? i swore i saw charcoal in there last night.
haley = again, awful. terrible fake hair. terrible wart/mole on your face. terrible face consuming smile. nice legs.
melinda = im banking on her in the top 2. otherwise i might revolt
lakisha = too safe. "not feelin you dawg" .. she just doesnt have what it takes, i dont think.
gina = my girl. love her. dont know why but she just strikes me as pretty damn cool, although they've made her into this stereotypical bad girl/punk rock role and its a little much.
blake = my future husband. sorry D
chris r = HEAVEN HELP ME. he looks like a little mole, or vermin or whatever. he sings with his face all squinty like brandon walsh from 90210. nasal nasal nasal. i want to die. i hate him.
jordin = freakin adorable with a bangin voice. i hope she sticks around b/c she is always quality entertainment
sanjaya. i will not go there.

there it is.
please let there be a god and send sanjaya and haley home.
and for all you "haters" out there.... if you wanted AI gone so bad, just STOP WATCHING IT!!!!!!! dont ruin it for me. i am a big loser. i live for this. i sing along with my TV. come on now.

Sour Cream on a Spoon

its official.
i am happier then i have ever been in my life.

the 1st year of living together is almost up (april 15) and WE MADE IT!!! it was a long and trying year - sometimes we told each other to "get the hell out", sometimes one of us slept on the couch (only 1 time each in 1 year).... sometimes we screamed [a lot], sometimes we threw stupid objects at each other [memorable objects: ginger ale bottle (empty), sour cream on a spoon, ballet flats, water from spray gun at sink, sponge, pieces of cheese, balls, and many other fun things]. we survived. i said it last april - if we could make it through one year, we could make it thru anything. we went through major life changes together in that year - we both changed jobs, he moved to jersey, i moved out for the first time, our apartment almost burned down [thank god, NOT our fault].... just really crazy. it was so worth it. i'm so happy we took this step together. the funniest part is that way back in the day when we were "just friends" in college, for some reason i always saw this future with him. in some weird way. back then i didnt have these feelings for him in this way, but i always knew there was more there then what was showing. he definitely needed to grow up, and so did i. all the years of the bullshit finally paid off.

now its just a matter of waiting to "make it official" -
we had "the talk" last week. about the future, finances, engagement, house, etc. YIKES. i mean yikes in a good way. but it doesnt look too promising right now. he needs a new car, bad. and i know that is priority #1, i understand that. but i hate the idea of waiting a whole 'nother year. i guess its good. it probably wont be a whole year. but who knows. that means i'll be turning 26. thats a good age. then probably 27 when married. makes sense, right? i just really want a pretty piece of jewelry. call me crazy but i DO!